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Clarification/explanation maybe?


SomeNobody
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1 further question left. You were kind enough to explain this on my profile, and thank you for that. I still disagree, as the point of my analogy isnt what you appear to think it was, but leaving that aside for now- why not discuss this in the open? I'd much rather have an open conversation about something like this because this is quite weird to me, to have a 1-way conversation with someone.

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No problem, I'm open to discuss it in public, and sure Off-topic is a good choice.

To clarify: I don't think you used that analogy with the bigoted connotations in mind, quite the opposite. I think you were simply not aware of those connotations, and it's just an old easy metaphor for "getting screwed over" or "getting ripped off" that you've used out of habit without questioning the saying itself. That's why I've put some effort into explaining it to you. If I thought you were deliberately using terms that are offensive to many people, I wouldn't have bothered.

Also, to be clear I know this isn't always easy, either individually or as a society. It's a process, and some things go through the cracks or remain unnoticed for longer than others. My goal isn't to change the English language, or society as a whole when I moderate this kind of stuff. I'm just doing my part, and kindly asking you to do yours on this forum. For the record, it took me years to get rid of the habit of using the French equivalent of "faggot" by default, because I grew up in a society where that term was so common I didn't even think about its primary meaning when I used it.

There's a whole bunch of phrasings that are just extremely offensive but so frequent that it isn't easy to get rid of them. If anyone ever uses the term "cancer" as an adjective for "not cool for this meta game", I'll obliterate them, for instance. Same thing with the word that rimes with "tape" used in any context (and actually, although I haven't mentioned it in my private message, there's also that connotation in your big dildo analogy, just a bit less obvious).

So yeah, it's very easy to phrase the same message by using a restaurant and the size and price of dishes instead, for instance. And it won't include the "oh hey, you, your sexual fantasy is so lame and pathetic that I'm using it as a joke" message (that, once again, I'm absolutely aware you were sending inadvertently, not knowingly).

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My overall point was that getting impaled by something that large would SURELY hurt (I'd know, I'm bisexual myself and I've had my fair share of partying (a lot of it in gay bars when I was younger and exploring), the things I've seen and experienced hooo boy I could talk all day and not run out of stories :D ), not that it's meant to be derogatory in any way to any group of people. As for the analogy itself, my view was always that the stronger the analogy, the better the point goes across (hence why I tried to shift it into a Vlad the Impaler analogy later on, as that also sends a powerful point). 
On the whole societal change point, idk how fair it is to ask people to change their language but that's neither here nor there, and I tend to just go with the flow (in the gay community in the UK where I've resided for a long time, the word "faggot" is still very prominently used amongst it's older members, as they've always said that they've claimed that word for themselves and dont care about it anymore) so it might be that I've just been inundated with the community for so long and havent paid much attention to modern happenings, as to me personally, in the 90s no one cared about sexuality and the societal battle was largely won (outside of gay marriage, but back then most gay people didnt even want marriage, they were making fun of marriage lol.), and nobody cared so I just carried on with that type of attitude, of general apathy towards someones identity, as that was their personal thing and that meant that nobody else was messing with that. 
Damn I've gone on a tangent... what was my point again? Oh right, I'm old and I just use language as I've always done with no mal-intent and I'm glad you saw that. I'll try to use different analogies if you're so inclined, but please note that I have no ill will to any of the "victims" of my analogies :D 
And thanks for taking the time to answer to me in this thread, I appreciate it!

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Thank you for this nice and interesting exchange. Glad to have you around, by the way. You're one of a small but most welcome group of folks who joined the forum during the recent backlash (while others were quitting), and ended up sticking around and making interesting contributions.

I see what you mean about some gay circles using "faggot" as a re-appropriation at some point, and some of that staying to this day. Very similar thing exists in various communities, like US rappers or just black people into the hip-hop culture still using "nigga" to this day, even though anyone not black using that term even in the same way they do come across as suspect, at the very least (see Tarantino for instance). Some Jewish people I know kinda like telling each other antisemitic terrible jokes, as a way to lick their wounds (the way I interpret it), but if any of our non-Jewish friends tells one, suddenly it becomes super awkward. There are also people who like to insult one another but as a way to really say "love you, dude, and it's nice we're so comfortable with each other that we're past this suspicion", but not everyone is comfortable with it. I had folks online calling me a frog and all kinds of tired anti-French clichés, too, clearly as a way to get closer to me in their mind, and likely expecting me to "retaliate" in the same vein, but I'm not into that to be honest.

Anyways, this is obviously a huge and diverse topic, but in general, we try to refrain from using sayings that are offensive to any group of people on the forum.

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